The following is the excerpt from the book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson, which was a worldwide bestseller about 20 years ago.
One of the most important questions you can ever ask yourself is, "Do I want to be 'right' ーor do I want to be happy?" Many times, the two are mutually exclusive!
Being right, defending our positions, takes an enormous amount of mental energy and often alienates us from the people in our lives. Needing to be right ーor needing someone else to be wrongーencourages othes to become defensive, and puts pressure on us to keep defending. Yet, many of us (me too, at times) spend a great deal of time and energy attempting to prove (or point out) that we are right ーand/ or others are wrong. Mnay people, consciously ot unconsciously, believe that it's somehow their job to show others how their positions, statements, and points of view are incorrect, and that in doing so, the person they are correcting is going to somehow appreciate it, or at least learn something. Wrong!
Think about if. Have you ever been corrected by someone and said to the person who was trying to be right, "Thank you so much for showing me that I'm wrong and you are right. Now I see it. Boy, you're gerat!" Or has anyone you know ever thanked you (or even agreed with you) when you corrected them, or made yourself "right" at their expense? Of course not. The truth is, all of us hate to be corrected. We all want our positioons to be respected and understood by others. Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected. Those who are in the habit of correcting others are often resentd and avoided.
It's not that it's never apppropriate ーsometimes you genuinely need to be or want to be. Perhaps there are certain philosophical positions that you don't want to budge on such as when you hear a racist comment. Here, it's important to speak your mind. Usually, however, it's just your ego creeping in and ruining an otherwise peaceful encounter ーa habit of wanting or needing to be right.
